Just writing this post brings me to tears. Many of you know from my Facebook post a friend of mine lost her husband to esophageal cancer today. My heart is breaking for her and her family. I met Melanie just after her husband was diagnosed less than a year ago. There were so many similarities between our families. Our ages, our kids ages, and she only lives a few hours away from us. As I told Gannon yesterday how quickly Steven had taken a turn for the worse I could see how upset he was and trying to hide a tear. I knew he was thinking about his dad and how easily that could be him and myself. Many people may not say it to someone that has not experienced this fight but, I know from my esophageal groups how almost all of us have these thoughts. We know the statistics. We live our lives in the moment and only in the moment. To think to much in the future is scary for most esophageal cancer warriors and their caregivers. More often than not the dr.'s appts bring bad news and the weeks following the chemo treatments bring horrible side effects, shortness of breath, nausea, fatigue, and pain. Pain so deep your bones ache right to the core. Quite often if you get a good day it is a day or two before you go back to do it again. And a good day for them is not the same as a good day for everyone else. The next time will be worse because the side effects compound. So, we make little plans for the future but, we live in the moment. We know if we get a chance to go somewhere not to put it off because we may never get another chance. I know what Melanie and Steven went through these last months and I pray that Melanie and her family find peace one day knowing where Steven is and that he is no longer in pain. I say that also knowing that if the roles were reversed I am not sure I would be filled with peace. Somewhere in the back of my head there might be a glimmer of peace knowing the my husband knows without a doubt when his time comes, no matter when, he will be going home to his Maker. I also know I would be very angry that so much of our time was stolen by this nasty disease. I have met so many amazing people fighting the same fight through the course of the last year. I am praying for Melanie, her family, and everyone else fighting this beast that we all can find peace and a cure!
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